Fenced In

Every American is genetically predisposed to a love of white picket fences. And for the first time in my life I have my proverbial white picket fence. Except it’s not white, and it hasn’t been all that effective.

Correct me if I’m wrong (or don’t…that’s even better) but aren’t fences meant to keep unwanted visitors, aka your lovely neighbors, from bothering you and entering your property? Yes, they may look pretty, but essentially it’s a six foot high hint that you enjoy your privacy while being outdoors.

Last weekend, to my horror, I turned around and saw my neighbor’s 10 pound chihuahua making his way under our fence and into our yard. I barely had enough reaction time to chase my dogs as they ran – teeth bared – to this intruder. I was holding a steaming bag of dog shit and somehow my brain wouldn’t function properly and before I knew, there was stinking dog crap all over my thigh and my dog’s backs. They barked, mouthed, and clawed at the little animal until he finally retreated under the fence. Their two children had watched it all in horror. I was furious (at my dogs), furious (at my neighbors), and disappointed that my dogs are not well-trained enough to listen to me when I tell them to stop attacking something.

Now, my boyfriend emerged right after it all ended. He has an uncanny ability to avoid all of these problems that seem to loom over me constantly. I told him what happened. He walked next door and asked the kids to get their mom. We wanted to see if the dog was okay and tell her that she should be outside supervising her dog, as it came into our yard. She pretended not to hear her children and stayed inside.

Two days later, I walk outside with my dogs to see my boyfriend speaking with our beloved neighbor. She had apparently stopped him while he was barracading making our fence look trashy so their little chihuahua couldn’t try his little stunt again. She mumbled about how she was going to do that, which I found to be quite curious considering it’s not her property. But anywho, she continued, as if we were unaware…

“Um, several days ago, your dogs attacked mine.”

Boyfriend: “Yup, your dog came under our fence into our yard, snarling.”

Idiot Lady: “Oh, I know. That’s why I didn’t say anything.” Apparently, she checked her attitude since we clearly were supervising our dogs as she had not been.

Boyfriend: “Well, we’re sorry but that’s why I’m fixing the fence so your dog can’t come in anymore.”

Idiot Lady: “Ok, um, do they eat meat? Maybe they thought he was a squirrel.”

I rolled my eyes, yes lady, we roast squirrels out back and toss them to our rabid dogs. That keeps them hungry for BLOOD!

After a 5 minute conversation, we came to the conclusion that she was essentially trying to see if we’d pay for her vet bill, yet she hadn’t even taken the dog to the vet yet and it’d be over 2 days! She must really love that little fella! My boyfriend basically told her, we alerted the police — who plainly said they didn’t care and we shouldn’t worry about it because the dog came into our property. And that dog was off-leash and being supervised by 7 year olds, which is obviously quite effective.

So, we breathed a sigh of relief and went about our lives. Well, yesterday I’m out with my dogs as they loped around the backyard playing tag and the neighbor kids decided to start playing a brand new game: lets scream and run up and down our neighbors fence, sticking our grubby little fingers through to the dogs and see what they do.

I was furious. But I had to realize it’s not the children’s fault that their mother sends them outside all day, paying no attention to them as she stays inside doing who knows what. I kindly told the kids they shouldn’t stick their fingers through or my dogs may confuse them for Snausages. They ran away screaming and flailing their arms. I went back to my weed pulling.

Not even 30 seconds later, their back at my fence poking their fingers through and taunting my dogs. I was incredibly pissed. Steam was beginning to come out my ears. I said more sternly that they shouldn’t be doing that. I waited to see if the mom would come outside, but no such luck. I took a deep breath, as they peeked through the fence at my reddening face. I retreated, with my dogs trailing behind me. They had to spend a beautiful afternoon inside since my neighbors are ignorant.

What would you do about this?



  1. Cori says:

    WOW!!! For starters, I would be pissed too. I would've marched my behind over their and told the mom what her kids were doing, and that she was warned. Parents need to keep an eye on their children, that's ludicrous!

    Good luck!! I hope they knock it off before they learn the hard way….


  2. Nicole says:

    Crappy neighbors can ruin even the nicest house!

    Although I found this post to be hilarious I'm sorry about your dilemma. I would like to say that I'd have a stern talk with the “Idiot Lady” but I may just avoid the situation like you did. But then how long will it continue?

    I hope you'll update us when you figure it all out.


  3. K-Koira says:

    Stern talk with their mother is needed. The last thing you want is your dog to bite one of their hands, since even with the obvious provocation, in some areas, that would equal a label as a vicious dog, requiring specific fencing, muzzling in public, etc, and in most places is part of the three strikes rule.

    And personally, I would probably put hardware cloth along the inside of the fence if the talk with the mother gets no results. The risks are too high to your dogs.


  4. PorkStar says:

    wow, sucks that this is happening, really… if she's as clueless as she sounds, i would either shoot or poison her dog and blame it on old age or some crap. I couldnt put up with the nonsense.


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