Who Gave YOU A Drivers License?

Now, I am sorry that my whole post is going to be devoted to the idiots who cannot park. But this cannot be avoided. When I come home late from work one to find a little BMW parked diagonally across two and a half spots, I am peeved. I will admit I was amazed that the S.O.B had the talent to park so horribly that his compact car could take up three spots. But I had to seriously resist the urge to take my keys out of my ignition and put them to the pretty paint job to write something mostly consisting of foul language. This was midweek and so I let it slide. I thought perhaps it was a nice boyfriend saving a front spot for his girlfriend. But as I walked across the whole damn parking lot and looked at his car parked right in front of my apartment building, I hesitated. I wanted to run back to my truck, rev that sucker up and park it right on top of his BMW. That would teach him how to park. Idiot. Instead, I mumbled to myself…hmmm what are those yellow lines? oh well, they must not be important…

Well, I vented to my boyfriend for about 15 minutes about how people can’t drive or park and how could there possibly be this many idiots? He just gave me a sideways glance and moved on. He drives for a living so this is nothing new to him and he’s pretty much gotten over it. I moved on.

The next day I come home to some jerkoff who parked just enough over the yellow line to make me question whether or not I could fit. And let me tell you, this guy is a serial crappy parker. I was so annoyed with the simple task of parking my truck that I just said F it and pulled right into the spot – as close as I could to the truck next to me. HAH! Who gets the last laugh now, Buddy? I really wanted to leave him a note on his windshield:

Nice Park Job, You Inconsiderate Prick!
Assholes like you should just take the damn bus!
Sincerely, your neighbor.
PS. Have fun squeezing your way out of your spot!

No joke, last night I get home and pull in front of my building to find a UHaul parking diagnally across two spots. I’m having Deja Vu and seeing red. I wanted to go knock on the door of my new favorite neighbors and ask them just who issued them that truck without being able to park. C’mon now, it was a little UHaul, it could’ve easily fit in one spot! So, I look over and see that the handicap spot was occupied by a neighbor who wasn’t handicapped (old but not legally handicapped), therefore the man who actually IS handicapped had to park in the diagnal lined spot next to the actual spot. OH MY GOD WHO THE HELL ISSUES THESE IDIOTS LICENSES! And people wonder why there are so many accidents. So, I parked, fuming and stalked away. I wish I would’ve taken a photo.

I know I live in a little redneck town but seriously. Now, I’m not blaming these idiots. There are probably unaware they are horrible drivers or perhaps they just don’t care because they are just that badass. I am going to blame the state of Illinois for awarding undeserving individuals with a license. Just because they took the test does not mean they get handed a license, DAMMIT!

Ok, rant over. I feel better. If you actually read all of that I apologize and you’re also an idio….just kidding!



  1. Haha, please reproduce that letter and stick it on his windshield!! Too funny. Sorry you have to deal with that everyday. Blech. Makes me wish that I had the guts to key a car (made me nervous just writing that, haha)


  2. Apfel says:

    I was just about the say the same! you should have put that letter up on his windshield! lol.. I am a horrible parker myself. But I am a good girl like that, so I don't drive at all πŸ™‚


  3. SLM says:

    OMG I get SOOOOO annoyed with people and their horrible parking/driving skills!!!! I always wish I was a cop so I could sit there and issue traffic citations to every a-hole that breaks the rules. Or is just inconsiderate. If that BMW was so worried about someone parking next to him, he should've parked a mile away instead of inconveniencing everyone else!


  4. The only thing worse than bad parking is sitting in your parked car and having the douche next to you open their car door into yours. That has happened to me several times, and the last time (as the car door hit my car hard enough to shake my entire car), I rolled down the window and asked them what they were doing. They responded that they didn't see me sitting in the car. I asked would it have made any difference?


  5. mmbear says:

    I am a new follower on the I Love My Online Friends Monday Hop and I am now following you thru GFC. I have someone working on my blog today and when you go on it as I just did it is still in process but you can GFC me and just leave a comment in any of the past articles. Hopefully, by tomorrow, I will have all my buttons back up. Thanks for the follow back.

    Mary @ http://mmbearcupoftea.blogspot.com


  6. Are you in Utah? Because Utards are the absolute WORST drivers I've ever experienced…

    Anyways, I love that you parked close to that guy who went over the line. I did that a few weeks ago. He was parked on the yellow line, and I parked on the left side of him, leaving no room for him to get into his car. I was scared he'd key MY car, but then I thought, eh, what's it matter–my car's a POS anyways!

    Thanks for the follow. I'm following you now.


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